


Reminders

by onereyofstarlight



Series: Gift Fics [2]
Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Angst, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24141556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onereyofstarlight/pseuds/onereyofstarlight
Summary: Scott's recovering post-op and wants to see his brother. Alan is less sure.
Series: Gift Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740778
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Reminders

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ak47stylegirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ak47stylegirl/gifts).



Alan hovered on the edge of his vision and Scott bit back a sigh. He hadn’t seen his brother properly in nearly three days. John told him quietly that he’d spent the entire night curled up beside Scott’s bed. He had refused to see him before the surgery and wouldn’t stay to fly Scott home, a decision that still cut him deeply. Despite the low murmurs of reassurance that he could hear through the door as people came in and out of his room, no-one in the family had managed to convince Alan to actually come in and talk to him. An hour ago Gordon had left the door open, ignoring Scott’s irritated call and given Alan a long, significant look before flouncing away.

Scott had been watching him ever since. He could see his youngest brother clearly now, still pacing outside and trying to pluck up the nerve to walk into the room. But it didn’t bring the two any closer together.

Scott had been patient, but the constant and silent presence was starting to grate against him. He needed to speak with his brother.

“Alan, just come in,” he finally said, unable to wait any longer.

Alan startled at the sudden noise.

Scott beckoned and although Alan was as wary as a stray kitten, he crept hesitantly forwards.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked quietly, slipping back into the chair he’d reportedly vacated several hours earlier.

“I’m doing okay, kid.” Scott tried to twist his neck to look over at his brother, but the movement caused sharp pain to radiate from his left shoulder and he hissed in discomfort.

Alan only looked more upset.

“Grandma said you were getting better.”

“I am. Surgery went well. It’s just gonna take a while before I’m back where I was.”

“I’m so sorry, Scott,” he said, the tears welling up in his eyes again as he looked up at his big brother.

“It’s not your fault, Allie,” said Scott with a soft smile. “You couldn’t have done anything differently.”

“I should have thought of something,” he said, his expression mulish. “Instead of waiting to be rescued.”

“I made that call, Alan,” said Scott. “It was my call to make and I’m proud that you followed my directions to the letter.”

“But it meant you got hurt.”

“It meant that you didn’t die,” corrected Scott gently.

Alan blinked at him, his exhausted brain processing that statement.

“It looks worse than it is.”

Alan snorted in disbelief.

“It looks like you dislocated your shoulder and then decided to get pummelled by a mountain before landing on the ground below with a concussion to match.”

“I don’t have a concussion.”

“You do have brain damage though if you think it looks worse than it is. Have you seen yourself?”

“It doesn’t even hurt that much anymore.”

“That’s because you’re on painkillers.”

“And God bless the man who invented them,” said Scott, lifting his good arm in slow celebration.

“I think you’re still high.”

Scott shrugged and then groaned as his vision whited out from the pain.

“Remind me not to do that again,” he said, grimacing.

“Sure thing. Hey Scott?”

“Not now, Alan.”

Behind the worry, Scott saw Alan’s lips twitch. The old joke and familiar banter with his youngest brother was going a long way to reassuring Scott that he was doing okay. But there was still that guarded look in Alan’s eyes, the look that had only begun to appear recently as Alan begun to lock away his emotions.

“How are _you_ feeling, Allie?” he asked softly, suspecting he already knew the answer.

Alan’s face fell again and he avoided his brother’s gaze. Scott sighed.

“Get over here,” he muttered, holding his good arm out to draw Alan into a hug.

Alan burrowed into him and Scott ignored the slight burn in his chest that might be his aching heart if his ribs weren’t feeling so battered and bruised.

“I keep seeing you,” he said in a voice barely louder that the waves crashing on the rocks far below them. “Down at the bottom of the mountain.”

Scott froze.

There’s a big hole in his memory, his last memory of that day was Alan’s terrified, _agonised_ face staring down at him from above as he slipped out of his baby brother’s grasp. Three days, and he’d not once wondered what Alan’s memory of that moment was. He’d never considered how for Alan, that moment of horror didn’t end with a jumbled mess of confused sensations overwhelming his body before blacking out from the first impact with the hard rock. That the moment might have continued beyond his own capacity for consciousness.

Some big brother he was.

“Allie, I…” began Scott, trailing off as his words only made the teenager cry harder.

“I dropped you, Scott.”

“You caught me.” Bile rose in his throat at _that_ memory, a visceral reaction to the sharp jolt of pain that had run through his shoulder as it dislocated. He’d definitely been awake then.

“I dropped you and you fell and you kept smashing into the rocks and then you didn’t get up again,” repeated Alan, his words a solemn and desperate confession. “And then… then I let you lie there. Virgil asked what happened and I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move.”

He took in a shaky breath and clutched at Scott tightly.

“Virgil and Gordon got you out of there. I couldn’t… I didn’t…”

Scott didn’t know what to say. He just held Alan close, murmuring nonsense like his parents had taught him when they first placed a baby brother in his arms.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,” whispered Alan into his chest.

“You did everything you could,” said Scott gently. “I’m sorry you had to live through that.”

“But why couldn’t I help?” asked Alan, sounding lost and confused and so very young. “I’ve never frozen like that before.”

“You were in shock Allie,” said Scott. “You went into shock because it doesn’t matter how often you do it, with family it’s always different.”

“It is?”

Scott nodded, his throat closing up as he held back his own memories from spilling over.

“It never changes.”

A tap on the doorframe made them both look up.

Virgil was standing there, an odd mixture of relief and sorrow on his face.

“Time for more meds,” he said simply, waiting for Alan to move back. “Alan, go help Gordon with the cooking for tonight.”

Alan’s looked between the two brothers, wanting nothing more but to stay with Scott.

“Allie, come on,” called Gordon, his eyes flitting up towards Virgil.

Scott narrowed his eyes, knowing full well that Virgil and Gordon were tag teaming them, but Alan left without protest.

He paused in the doorframe, watching as Virgil moved to Scott’s side.

“Hey Scott?”

“Yeah?”

His little brother’s eyes were blue and bright as he looked back at Scott.

“Don’t do that again.”

The reminder stung.

“I won’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Cross posted from Tumblr, original posted on 21/03/2020


End file.
